I am starting to think about how my acceleration, my desire to just get to the next easier moment, is causing time to go too fast. My Chloe is incredibly sensitive. My Bella is tough and sure of herself. As tough as my Bella is, she sees me when I pick her up and cries out "Mommy!" Yesterday she turned around and leaned against my legs looking for love and protection. As I dry Chloe off from her bath she asks, "Mommy, are you my best friend?"
A few days ago on Facebook someone I know posted what he thought being a father was. He said that essentially his job was to hunt down his kids like a bloodhound when he thought they needed it, to be tough, bug them, and worry about them. His post bothered me when he said that it wasn't his job to be his kids' friend. As a parent I have to set boundaries, be tough, and not always be the friend. But I am their friend. Not a friend who will burden them with confidences or adult responsibilities, but a friend who will always be there for them no matter what they do. A friend who will listen. It's my job to love them, provide for them, and keep them safe from things that they do not need to know. It's not my job to shatter their world. It's my job to keep them safe.
I'm far from perfect and make plenty of mistakes. I just hope that Chloe always knows I'm her friend and Bella, no matter how tough she is can lean on me for support and know I'm there for her no matter what.
Bella at one.
Bella at two.
Chloe at two and three-quarters
Chloe at three and three-quarters
smiles. nice pics...i think we can be our kids friend, it is a tight rope though because without expectations...i have seen what happens and it aint pretty...going to court today over a kid whose parents let him get away with everything and now he is going away...
ReplyDeleteBrian- I've seen that as well. Actually I have pretty strict expectations for behavior. My kids have impressed daycare that they say please and thank you when other kids don't. As well, I don't let my kids go wild especially in other people's houses or stores. I think a common line my kids get from me is "we don't run in the store. This is not a playground.
ReplyDeleteI think structure, rules, and boundaries create security and make kids feel safe. I'm no Katie Holmes and I'm not raising any Suri Cruise. Are my kids perfect and perfectly well behaved? Not by a long shot.
I guess what I was tossing on internet paper Like a Jackson Pollock painting is that in between the making of and enforcing of rules there should be moments of love and your kids should know that they can always come to you... no matter how old they are. I'm a tyrant, but a nice tyrant. Lol
aaww they're both so cute! :) I agree it's possible to be a friend, but it's a very fine line to dance especially while their young. When they're adults I think it would be easier...I guess I'll find out when I get there. LOL :P
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